Navigating ADHD and Emotional Regulation as Female Entrepreneurs
A Deep Dive with Kate Moryoussef
From a victim mindset to self-compassion and heightened self-awareness – Kate and I have traversed similar paths.
If you have ADHD, you are no stranger to emotional dysregulation and overwhelm and if you are a female entrepreneur, you are no stranger to the ups and downs of running a business, which can be a major source of stress and overwhelm. Some of the techniques and strategies that are most helpful to me and other female entrepreneurs was the subject of my recent discussion with ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Coach, Kate Moryoussef.
Confronting My Past
When I take an honest step back. I’ve experienced my share of defensive behavior and resistance to addressing my own emotional overwhelm. Taking responsibility for my actions and developing both awareness and skills eventually lead to many fewer embarrassing and painful moments. Kate and I spent a significant portion of our conversation talking about the importance of deeply loving and accepting ourselves, especially when we make mistakes. This isn't just a lofty ideal; it’s a survival strategy.
The fact that we need tools to bring our nervous system under control when triggered cannot be stressed enough. For female entrepreneurs, the stakes are high. We are balancing businesses, families, personal aspirations, and if emotional dysregulation is added to the mix, the task feels monumental.
Radical Self-Acceptance
Kate's take on self-compassion resonates deeply with me. Learning to love oneself even when feeling like a "hot mess," as she put it, is liberating. I remember my early days in business – relentless, filled with self-criticism and perpetually teetering on the brink of burnout. Kate’s reminder that deeply loving ourselves can fuel our resilience is crucial for female entrepreneurs. She emphasized daily practices that can help us navigate life's labyrinth, and I couldn’t agree more.
Bullying ourselves internally does more harm than good. I undertook a personal experiment inspired by Kate's advice – I decided to consciously accept and reassure myself that whatever I did each day was okay. The mental load felt lighter, and my decision-making sharper. It’s amazing how such subtle shifts in mindset can have profound impacts.
Compassionate Self-Treatment
Kate made a beautiful comparison between treating ourselves with kindness and the nurturing manner we employ while teaching children. Both she and I firmly believe that adopting a similar approach toward ourselves would yield the best results. I’ve seen how my performance improved when I let go of the constant self-criticism and instead approached my flaws with a sense of curiosity and compassion.
The Power of Spiritual Growth
Kate opened up about her past struggles with shame, imposter syndrome, and the intense pressure she placed on herself, which led to burnout. It struck a chord. Female entrepreneurs often face the double-edged sword of high expectations and the fear of failure. Kate’s choice to grow spiritually was a watershed moment for her, and I realized that such conscious choices have also played a pivotal role in my growth. Spiritual growth amplified her joy in business, transforming it from a burden into something fun and lighthearted.
I remember Kate mentioning how her journey through perimenopause is adding layers to her struggle with emotional regulation. I resonate deeply with this – as many female entrepreneurs do. These are natural phases of life, yet they become battlegrounds because we often beat ourselves up over them. Kate’s shift toward acceptance instead of resistance led her to feel more relaxed and capable of managing the constant overwhelm.
The Essential Tools
Self-awareness, somatic work, breath work, nature walks, and listening to others' wisdom became Kate’s sanctuary. I highlight the critical importance of embedding a radical sense of self-acceptance in our journey. From my Buddhist perspective, interpreting pain as a learning experience can eliminate unnecessary suffering.
Daily practices such as going for walks, staying hydrated, and eating well might sound trivial, but they are foundational. Regardless of whether you have ADHD, these practices support overall well-being and functional effectiveness.
Tapping into Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can help us manage symptoms of overwhelm and anxiety. EFT can be a game-changer, allowing us to calm the nervous system and make clearer decisions. Having an experienced practitioner to guide through EFT can magnify its benefits, but you can begin to experiment with the technique through online trainings, books and classes.
Flexibility and Self-Compassion
It’s absolutely okay not to stick to rigid routines. Flexibility, especially for those of us with ADHD, can be more effective than strict adherence. I’ve found that designing a lifestyle that adapts to my needs rather than the other way around supports my well-being better.
Kate’s experiences with impulsive business decisions stood as a testament to the need for occasional pause and evaluation. As female entrepreneurs, we make a myriad of decisions daily. The overarching conditioning to avoid mistakes can breed anxiety. Practicing self-compassion and viewing each decision as a valuable lesson can significantly relieve this pressure.
Commit, Learn, and Grow
Kate’s practice of committing to decisions “no matter what” and being determined to extract lessons from them is a perspective I cherish. It aligns perfectly with my belief that the best decisions come without the shackles of shame and regret. Setting goals with optimal and minimal levels allows flexibility, making them achievable and less daunting.
From a victim mindset to self-compassion and heightened self-awareness – Kate and I have traversed similar paths. We emphasized the importance of non-linear development, our later in life diagnosis of ADHD and acknowledging our struggles with grace. This approach nurtures our growth, making us better leaders and more empathetic individuals.
Feel free to DM me on LinkedIn or Instagram @coachdiannwingert or send me an email at diann@diannwingertcoaching.com. I'd love to hear your thoughts! If you'd like to hear the full episode on The Driven Woman Entrepreneur Podcast, you can do that here.