ADHD-ish: Embracing Neurodiversity Without a Formal Diagnosis
Embracing ADHD-ish
The term ADHD-ish might trigger some, especially those who’ve faced severe challenges. But here's the thing: it's about being inclusive.
As a former psychotherapist with firsthand experience of both diagnosing others with ADHD as well as being diagnosed myself, I’d like to open up a dialog about embracing a more inclusive discussion about who fits under the ADHD umbrella, and importantly, why acknowledging our varied experiences is crucial for our identity and our journey.
Getting a Diagnosis
Being formally diagnosed with ADHD as an adult involves meticulous behavioral interview and history, especially challenging if you are female. The process can be daunting—forms to fill out, observations to gather from your family or partner, behavioral rating scales, symptom checklists, and sometimes, a full psychological evaluation. Depending on where you live in the world, being diagnosed as an adult woman might not even be available to you.
For many of us, the hurdles aren’t just bureaucratic but intensely personal. Female entrepreneurs, in particular, often juggle multiple roles, facing unique pressures that can make completing this tedious process feel insurmountable. I've seen many potential candidates for ADHD diagnosis give up halfway, or even before getting started—not out of a lack of desire for clarity, but sheer frustration with the hoops they need to jump through, but the fact that the psychiatric community has a gender bias when it comes to ADHD.
I’ve heard from a number of women who were told “you can’t have ADHD, you completed a college degree” or “you’ve made it this far without a diagnosis, why get one now?” One woman reported that the psychiatrist she consulted told her he “does not believe women can have ADHD.”
The Medication Dilemma
A frequent topic of discussion is medication for ADHD. Yes, the benefits of stimulant meds for ADHD are undeniable, but there is no such thing as a magic pill. Even when you take medication, results vary widely and some people don’t tolerate them well or not minimal effects.
And, getting medication comes with its own set of complications. Controlled substances are tightly regulated to prevent misuse, meaning you can't stock up on them like your typical prescription. As a female entrepreneur, the constant worry of running out of medication before a critical deadline or important meeting is very real. Moreover, the costs—monetary and emotional—add up rapidly.
Identity and Labels
Something I’ve noticed in my coaching practice is the diversity in how female entrepreneurs identify with ADHD. Not everyone is comfortable or feels aligned with the ADHD label, and that's okay. Some might prefer terms like "fast-brained," "creative," or even "neurospicy." It’s about what resonates and feels empowering, not restrictive.
In our age of identity, this acceptance of varied neurobiological categorizations is essential. We’re talking about everything from ethnic and cultural identity to gender and even our unique brain wiring. For some, embracing a term like ADHD-ish feels more inclusive and less stigmatizing. It opens up a door to understanding without the rigid criteria of a formal diagnosis.
A lesser known fact is that it is not the number of ADHD symptoms you have that make for a diagnosis, or even their severity. The diagnosis will not be made unless there is also a significant degree of impairment as a direct result of the symptoms. For women who have created workarounds and have a lot of systems, structure and supports built into their daily lives and businesses, they might not meet diagnostic criteria, but they most definitely have ADHD. Complicated, right?
The Realities of Entrepreneurial Life with ADHD
Contrary to the popular and overly glorified view that ADHD is a superpower, the daily grind tells a different story. Female entrepreneurs with ADHD—or those who are ADHD-ish—often battle intense periods of emotional dysregulation, which aren’t always visible to the outside world. Not only does this feel shameful and isolating, but it takes a significant toll on a woman’s confidence, mental health and personal life.
I’ve worked with many female entrepreneurs who struggle silently, choosing to remain undiagnosed either due to the stigma or fear. For some, ADHD features have become what I call a “point of pride,” part of their unique entrepreneurial identity, and proof of their resilience and ingenuity in the face of challenges.
The Cost of Diagnosis and Treatment
The financial burden of getting diagnosed and treated for ADHD is another critical issue. Though stimulant medications themselves may not break the bank, the escalating demand for evaluations has made some opportunistic professionals hike their prices beyond reach. Couple this with a shortage of psychiatrists, especially those competent in diagnosing adult women, and you find ourselves in a bit of a quagmire.
Geographic disparities contribute to this inequity, making it particularly hard for those outside major metropolitan areas to access competent care. And let’s not even talk about the global scenario, where many countries lag far behind in ADHD awareness and treatment options.
Overcoming Stigma
Stigma and confidentiality concerns persist irrespective of progress in ADHD awareness. Many female entrepreneurs fear that disclosing their ADHD might affect their professional relationships or opportunities. Moreover, personal history plays a role. The "zombie" stories from high dosages of stimulant medications given to children in past decades still haunt many of our memories. These contribute to reluctance and fear around seeking a diagnosis.
Embracing ADHD-ish
The term ADHD-ish might trigger some, especially those who’ve faced severe challenges. But here's the thing: it's about being inclusive. It's about acknowledging that whether formally diagnosed or self-identified, those of us resonating with ADHD traits deserve validation. ADHD-ish allows for flexibility and inclusivity. It doesn't require a formal diagnosis to empathize with our shared struggles and strengths.
Imagine a world where we don’t distance ourselves based on rigid diagnostic criteria but come together to support and empower each other. Where female entrepreneurs can embrace their unique neurological traits without shame or stigma. That's the vision I have and the direction I aim to foster with my podcast and my client work.
Moving Forward
The goal is simple: to create a space where female entrepreneurs feel seen, heard, and supported. Whether one identifies as having ADHD or ADHD-ish, or neither but still resonates with the entrepreneurial challenges discussed, there’s room for all of us here.
So let’s continue these conversations with empathy, curiosity, and an open mind. Let's support each other in our journeys, and remember, whether you wear the ADHD label proudly or prefer to carve your own path under ADHD-ish, our shared experiences connect us.
And as always, I welcome your thoughts, experiences, and feedback. Let’s build this inclusive community together, one conversation at a time.
Feel free to DM me on LinkedIn or Instagram @coachdiannwingert or send me an email at diann@diannwingertcoaching.com. I'd love to hear your thoughts! If you'd like to hear the full episode on The Driven Woman Entrepreneur Podcast, you can do that here.
