Surviving Holiday Chaos: Essential Burnout Prevention Tips for Neurodivergent Women
How Neurodivergent Women Can Navigate Holiday Stress and Protect Their Energy
Our well-being isn't optional—it's essential, especially during the holidays when the pressure to overgive and overcommit is at its peak.
As a neurodivergent female entrepreneur, I can't help but feel the creeping pressure of the holiday season. It's a time that should be filled with joy and relaxation, yet often culminates in burnout, which is why I reached out to my friend, Paula Liub, a burnout coach for sensitive and neurodivergent women, who has lived in several countries and can attest to the reality that burnout is a global phenomenon, as well as one she has personally experienced, more than once.
Even though most of us underestimate their importance, our executive functioning is highly dependent on prioritizing our “basic” needs like hydration, nutrition, sleep, and physical activity. Paula articulates this holistic approach not just as a necessity for personal well-being but as a cornerstone for effective business management. It's a reminder that caring for our business means caring for ourselves. As neurodivergent women, we are often hyper-focused on our projects, sometimes to the detriment of these basic necessities, especially during the high-demand holiday season. I often use the term “Brain Jerky” as a cheeky way to remind myself and my clients that you can’t expect a dried out brain to function well. Since the brain is 75-85% water, we need to stay hydrated, period.
If you are a female entrepreneur in a heterosexual relationship, it’s likely that you bear a disproportionate share of household tasks and emotional labor on top of your business ventures. During this festive season, which ideally should be a period of relaxation, what is more common is that workload and stress levels increase, even if we happen to enjoy shopping, decorating and baking for others.
Paula suggests practical strategies to reduce burnout—such as pre-planning events with non-negotiable dedicated rest periods built into the plan, simplifying tasks like gift shopping, and avoiding the trap of perfectionism in searching endlessly for the most amazing gifts. These suggestions remind me that we don't have to go along with an excess of social commitments, especially when our energy reserves are depleted. Boundaries and honest communication are skills that would serve all of us to learn to master, along with the reminder that saying “yes” to others should not come at an expense to our wellbeing.
Our physiological needs shouldn't be overshadowed by societal pressures to overwork or overgive, in order to meet unrealistic expectations. The cultural norm that criticizes rest and glamorizes relentless work can lead us to ignore signs of burnout—a dangerous oversight, particularly for neurodivergent individuals. Burnout is not a reflection of our abilities but rather a consequence of ignoring our body's signals. This misperception is often exacerbated by a stigma that equates burnout symptoms with laziness or a lack of motivation and drive.
Paula’s personal reflections on burnout further illuminate this point. She shared her journey through various stages of life with me, from high school, university, and her early career—each phase marked by unrecognized burnout. It's a familiar tale for many female entrepreneurs, especially for those whose neurodivergence was identified later in life. The societal narrative often gaslights us into thinking that our need for rest is an indulgence rather than a necessity. Coupled with our tendencies to people-please and the misunderstanding of our own limits, we end up pushing past our breaking points.
Our conversation also included a discussion on mindfulness and meditation—a frequent resistance point for those of us with ADHD. Diann and I both advocate for changing how we perceive mindfulness, emphasizing that it's not just about clearing the mind but being intentional with our actions and choices. Paula likens it to exercising—you don’t need to be an athlete to benefit. Mindfulness helps bring awareness to our emotions and sensations, guiding us to make necessary adjustments in our daily habits.
Burnout does not happen overnight, and being more tuned into our physical and emotional signals can alert us to the need to alter our behavior and choices before things become dire. Many neurodivergent women are perfectionists, who adopt the way of thinking that unless we can do things in the optimal way, “why bother.” In reality,
microwaving a meal instead of cooking dinner is more than okay when you're stressed. We don’t need to delay action until conditions are perfect. One of the mantras that I encourage clients to embrace is “everything counts.” Practically speaking, while it’s better to go to the gym for an hour, a ten minute walk really is better than nothing. Everything counts, so doing the minimum is still worthwhile and beneficial.
I find Paula’s encouragement for neurodivergent female entrepreneurs to take it easy during their menstrual cycle particularly insightful. It’s a simple yet often overlooked aspect of conserving energy. I recommend using a wall-sized dry erase calendar for planning to “stretch” our time horizons and reducing last-minute pressures and overcommitment. Padding days around significant events for preparation and recovery is not just practical but essential, if you’re serious about burnout prevention.
Planning should be flexible, offering an overview of what's possible without imposing rigidity and obligation. While burnout is not our fault, we have the power to take steps to improve our situation. It’s a message of empowerment, urging us to recognize our limits, set boundaries, and prioritize our well-being. Taking care of ourselves is not just about surviving the holiday season—it’s about thriving in our personal and professional lives.
If you'd like to hear the full episode on the ADHD-ish Podcast, you can do that here.
