Dopamine and Decision-Making: How ADHD Shapes Our Choices

Navigating ADHD Decision-Making

As adults with ADHD, Cathy and I understand the challenges of decision-making in a world not designed for us and reflected on the fact that the outcome is often a loss of trust in oneself.

This post was written based on my recent conversation with Cathy Rashidian, my friend, content collaborator and fellow ADHD coach. We noted that many of our choices are driven by forces that seem to be outside our control, but when we apply insight and awareness, we can identify and change our unconscious patterns. 

The Struggle is Real

Let's be honest. As female entrepreneurs with ADHD, our decision-making process can often feel like a roller coaster. One moment we're all fired up, ready to take on the world with an impulsive decision, and the next, we're paralyzed by overthinking every single detail. 

Stepping into Thought Processes Intentionally

One of the critical points discussed in our conversation is the importance of intentionally stepping into our thought processes. ADHD doesn't have to dictate our lives or our businesses. By cultivating self-awareness and utilizing various tools, we can make more intentional decisions. However, despite our best efforts, we'll still make cringey decisions from time to time and that's okay. Granting ourselves grace and acceptance for these imperfect decisions is crucial.

The Profound Impact of "Refuse to Choose"

Cathy and I discussed the book "Refuse to Choose" by Barbara Sher, which profoundly impacted our perspective on choices as women with ADHD. The book provides permission not to always have to choose, a liberating concept for those of us who feel overwhelmed by endless options. It's a reminder that sometimes, it's perfectly fine to embrace multiple interests and not restrict ourselves to just one path.

Being Present and Self-Acceptance

Our conversation took a poignant turn towards the importance of being present and committing to loving and accepting ourselves, regardless of our decision outcomes. Cathy and I discussed how societal influences and past experiences shape our intuition and decision-making skills. Cathy introduced the "3 brains" framework into our discussion.  The framework is based on logical thinking, emotional awareness, and gut instincts—as a way to tap into our intuition. Rebuilding confidence in our intuition, despite societal setbacks, is a journey worth embarking on.

Comparing Neurodivergents to Neurotypicals

I talked about how much easier I imagine it must be for neurotypical people who more readily find and stick with their life choices, whether in career, lifestyle, or routine decisions. It highlights the stark contrast to our experiences, where decision efficiency and cognitive resources need to be carefully balanced between rigidity and flexibility. I also emphasized reducing cognitive load by making repetitive choices, leaving us more room for important decisions.

Fear vs. Purpose

Cathy and I delved into the idea of making conscious choices based on purpose rather than giving into fear and stressed the importance of aligning our decisions with our personal values and purpose. My "no regrets" philosophy serves as a powerful reminder that regretting the past is a waste of time. Embracing our impulsive nature and the risks that come with it can lead to resilience and a greater ability to laugh at ourselves.

Impulsivity and Novelty-Seeking

Cathy and I agree that overthinking and impulsiveness both serve a purpose for those with ADHD, stimulating our need for interest and novelty. Understanding our brain's role in decision-making and seeking dopamine becomes crucial. We emphasized the importance of knowing ourselves, acknowledging that uncertainty and past experiences can hijack our brains and lead to emotional flooding. However, mindful decision-making based on current knowledge and experience can mitigate these effects.

Navigating a Neurotypical World

As adults with ADHD, Cathy and I understand the challenges of decision-making in a world not designed for us and reflected on the fact that the outcome is often a loss of trust in oneself. The traditional approach to decision-making may not align with the brain wiring of neurodivergent individuals and highlight the differences in decision-making processes, including the negativity bias and time blindness that many of us experience.

Agile Project Management

Cathy shares her experience with the agile project management approach and how it can be applied to decision-making. This method emphasizes taking things one step at a time and tapping into curiosity, making it a valuable tool for us. I challenged the all-or-nothing thinking prevalent in the ADHD community, advocating for being in the moment and avoiding a “forever” mindset.

I’m grateful to Cathy Rashidian for joining me for a candid discussion that reminds me that while the journey may be challenging, it's also filled with opportunities for growth, self-acceptance, and resilience. So, here's to embracing our unique decision-making processes and thriving as driven female entrepreneurs with ADHD traits!

Feel free to DM me on LinkedIn or Instagram @coachdiannwingert or send me an email at diann@diannwingertcoaching.com. I'd love to hear your thoughts! If you'd like to hear the full episode on The Driven Woman Entrepreneur Podcast, you can do that here.